I soon learned that America lied to the people about it's political agenda. I don't remember exactly how it began, but i stumbled across the world of Islamic extremism. They preached about a noble cause against America and any other nation seeking to oppose them. I suspected there was some truth as America invaded the middle east and as a result, violated Muslim holy land. I was swayed by the Islamic ideology as i saw the American flag being burned and the proclamations that America would pay for it's crimes. I viewed footage of the Islamic holy warriors courageously fight against American troops. When i saw terrorists like Al Queda fight, i saw loyalty and brotherhood. I saw a sense of belonging where faithful Muslims could demonstrate their faith to Allah by killing and dying for their cause. When i witnessed terrorist beheadings, i saw vigilante justice fulfilled.
Over time, i was persuaded by the Islamic holy war against America and started fantasizing about being a terrorist. I fantasized about bringing a gun to school, taking hostages, making demands from the authorities, and executing students on camera if my demands weren't met. I also planned on how i'd steal a gun away from an officer with a knife. I began to sense a change but i felt brainwashed and could do nothing. It was as if i was being mind-controlled by the media and propaganda.
I suddenly stumbled across a terrorist site promoting radical Islam online. I saw my opportunity to be recruited within the ranks of Islamic extremists. All i had to do was send an email and it would begin. I already began preparing for "Jihad" against America. I was starting to learn Arabic and about various weapons. As an adult, i could see myself secretly ordering the components to make bombs. My brother was concerned about the change in me as it began to surface when i smiled towards attacks on American civilians. He quickly told my mother about what i had been doing but she didn't know what to make of it.
I thought about the consequences that i would face should i become an enemy to America. I knew that i'd be put on death row for treason but i didn't care. I've seen too many injustices to be concerned with my own life. I believed that my faith in God would reward me in the after-life. In addition, i was too angry at the injustices committed by this country. I swore that one day, i'd personally barge into the White House and execute those Americans responsible for the atrocities against Muslims in the Middle east. I hated America and everything it stood for. I was ready to surrender everything including my family and Christianity for this cause. I wanted to prove to Islamic extremists that i was fit for a leadership role. To prove my fierce devotion, i almost committed several murders to conceal my identity as i ran from the police.
After that, i'd become a terrorist in the battlefield. I would plot to leak all information i could get my hands on to terrorist organizations outside the U.S. It ranged from national defenses, security, sophisticated ways to get into the country, technology, weapons, money, you name it. I also plotted several attacks in my head. I'd become an executioner and thought i was doomed forever until one incident. I was changing out of my black shirt and it accidentally got stuck as i was taking it off. I looked into the mirror and was terrified. I saw a glimpse of my future self - a cold-blooded murderer consumed by death and destruction. This wasn't the future that i envisioned. One day, my mom talked to me about what Jesus preached about loving and forgiving your enemies. I soon realized that everything i planned was all wrong. I could no longer be apart of this and slowly recovered from the effects of manipulation.
After that, i realized the Islamic extremists were lying to me. Their aim was not of a religious cause, but a purely political one. Their groups spread nothing but pure hatred, deceit, murder, and destruction. This made me question all governments and organizations. Despite all that i've learned, my aim is to warn people of the dangers in Islamic extremism. Their goal is to manipulate others under the disguise of righteousness, justice, and religion. My experience will not motivate me to be a political activist, but it has encouraged me to help the world in my own way. I realized that any government that triumphs over another through violence is bound to fail but the one who accomplishes it through peace lasts forever. If we want wars to end, we must stop resorting to violence as a solution. Instead, we ought to seek love and forgiveness in order to be free from the evil within.
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